D is for discipline

I teach. Everybody knows that. But few know how. A question that pops up every now and then is: 'Are you strict?' And the answer is: 'Yes.' That's a shocker for most. Few ask: 'Why?' The answer to that is simple: 'Because I have to.' Thai kids don't learn good behavior at home. They don't know about limits, dealing with anger, defeat, in fact: you name it and they don't know about it. Since I teach grade one, I am the first to guide them. Did I mention there are 35 of them? I am their teacher, their father, their big brother and super role model in every way. Quite a task. And yes: punishment is necessary. But I like to reward. For all you fellow teachers in Asia: this is my method and it works wonders.

1) Have a column on one side of the whiteboard marked 'Good students' (make it nice and colorful, add a cartoon character). On day one, put all the student's names in it.
2) Have a column on the other side of the whiteboard marked 'Naughty students' (no: not 'bad students', they are just misguided remember? :) Of course this side of the board is drab. I use a badly drawn unhappy smiley.
3) Explain what's gonna happen at the first transgression. Praise everybody for being on the good side.
4) Do your lessons. Warn the students when they get out of line. After the third time: erase them from the good side.
5) If the same student talks/plays/hits/forgets their homework/what evers again: put his or her name on the naughty side. Be sure to show your disappointment.
6) If the same student talks/plays/hits/forgets their homework/what evers again: add the number 10 behind the name. That means: write ten lines. Increase with 10 with every transgression. I use a tracing sheet with: 'I am sorry Teacher Boris'.
7) When you hit 50 or 100 lines: put them outside/take them to the principal/contact their parents. Normally you will rarely reach this point.
8) The kids get their lines on Friday. That means they will try to keep out of trouble until Friday or get more lines for the weekend.
9) On Monday you collect the sheets (and here's the important part), erase everybody from the naughty side, and put them back on the good side. Praise them. In my class the other kids even applaud.
10) If a kid scores a very high mark whilst being on the naughty side of the whiteboard (with or with out lines) and is clearly trying hard to be good: erase their name abd put it on the good side with due praise. In my class that happens only when they score 5 stars.
11) Kids that behave well and score high marks on their assignments or homework, or do what ever well get marked with a red star. The best student of the week (1 boy and 1 girl) gets a small gift or a piece of candy. It works very well if a student draws their own star behind his or her name .
12) Keep the kids just below the top on their toes by sometimes taking away the star. Be fair.

Of course this method needs to be tweaked a little for older students where it's about being cool and the pressure comes from the group more. The idea is to correct behavior, have many opportunities to do it and make it easy to get to to the good side.

One more tip: you can play angry. I do the old fire and brimstone routine every once in a while. But never be angry. It will eat you and all your energy up and you'll end up getting eaten alive by your class. Not a pretty sight. Believe me, I've seen it.

In case your wondering: the maximum number of students I've ever had on the naughty side: seven. Usually, it's three :)

English Camp?

Just came back from doing an English Camp. You know, one of those camps that should give students an fun English environment to practice their skills. That's the theory. In practice it means you cram two VIP-busses full of students, watch cartoons in Thai for some reason and sing Thai karaoke along the way, drive to a nice location near a huge National Park and then don't go anywhere near that National Park. Instead you stay in a nice holiday resort with trimmed hedges and activities center around a place called 'The Cowboy Room'.

This is also where you meet The Dream Team: a group of farang teachers with special expertise in setting up these kinds of camps. Again, this is theory. In practice it sometimes turns out that you're suddenly dealing with Joe, Schmo and D'oh. In this case fresh of the bananaboat and without a clue about doing this sort of thing. Al they have is a prayer (If I open my eyes this will all have been a dream) and a song (If You're Happy and You Know it) and a frightful please-somebody-help-me-face.

To make things even more interesting Joe, Schmo and D'oh are supervised by two guys that do most of the talking. One is from Iran and the other says he's English but he's not. Which is why he makes all those typical Asian mistakes when he speaks and why everybody is told to "clap your han tree time" every five minutes. Bad? Yes. But to avoid any loss of face nobody says a thing. Everybody just chalks it up to a good learning experience, laughs amongst themselves and agrees that these guys will never work in this town again.

Day two: to the zoo. This sounds good. We get to see some animals and talk about them with the students. Theory. Practice: we get the Thai style zoo experience. That means you race around the whole zoo in carts (and in15 minutes tops), while you're hanging on for dear life. The English, then, is limited to 'Look over there a...wait...too late', 'What was that?' and 'I don't know'. Then it becomes clear what the hurry was all about: a terrifically unbuddhist snake show and an eighties style seal show with beach balls, hoops, applauding seals and everything.

Bad? Probably. But you just can't beat applauding and high five-ing seals. Besides, our job was extremely easy this time round. And the whole thing was so out of this world that we couldn't stop laughing. Too bad I forgot my camera. Then again: of course the zoo had a photographer at the entrance. And sure enough he made a simple picture into the memento of excruciating happiness that now graces the top of our bookcase and this webpage. That's the way to remember this English Camp. Through a nice bit of Thai camp.

In three...two...one...

We have a new job. Apart from teaching our thirty students in the English Program every day and teaching kids in the Thai Program one hour a week, we now have to educate all the students who don't have an English speaking teacher regularly. That is the majority of kids in the school. Even the parents of the Thai Program kids have to pay a couple of hundred hard earned Baht for it.

The school has a pretty good way of trying to bridge the gap: every Tuesday and Thursday they have a farang teacher come to a small but well run TV-studio and teach a small lesson. Not only does it get more kids in contact with English, kids also do all the behind the scenes stuff. They're behind the camera, mix the audio and do small items on things they've learned and even do a newscast.

For us teachers it's a whole new ballgame. You have to cram a lesson in 3-5 minutes, appeal to grade one through five and everything you do is on LIVE TV. No second takes. The whole school and especially the kids in your own room will be watching. Not exactly like presenting the American Idol final or anything, but still... Great fun.

Anyway: here's a picture I took while teaching everybody about 'I like to+verb'. In this case 'I like to take pictures'. If you look closely you can see me on the monitor. I'm the yellow blurry thing with the silvery blurry thing (my camera).

Busy busy busy

Yes: I'm working hard. Take a peak at one of the three classes I teach. Mind you: this is the only class I can really call my own. This has my desk in the back. My name above the door. My Thai teaching partner and my teaching assistant right next to me and a TV plus a computer in the front. It also has the kids of course. thirty of them. I teach them 15 hours a week. That's Boom right there glaring at you during lunchtime.

Yes they are cute. Yes they are a little mischievous if you give 'm half the chance. But it's nothing compared to the other two teaching hours I have. Imagine if you will the same kind of room with at least ten to fifteen extra students. Two years older. A lower level of English. No teaching partners or assistants. Not even chairs and desks... Now that's a all hands on deck situation. Except you have just two. It's thrilling, exhausting, breathtaking and mind numbing all at the same time. So stay tuned!