My way

Got back from an English seminar all organisized (y'all know the Dan right?) by my neighbour Kaisit. An interesting gathering. All the typically Thai ingredients where there: rote learning, big ideas, huge expectations, even bigger speakers, karaoke, dancing, mangled English songs, loads of food, whiskey, a test everybody passed and (most importantly) loads of fun and laughter.

Now for the interesting part: I found myself teaching groups of principals from Educational area 5. Very eager students. very quiet compared to my normal first grade class and very aware that this was it: their chance to talk to a farang. Some of them were very shy. Especially when I put them on the spot. They didn't see that one coming, but I always do. They were supposed to speak English. Not me. In the end they did well. And they were thankful beyond belief. All in a days work.

O yeah: why this picture with this story? Well: I drove my first 30km on the highway to get to the seminar. That's why. Whoohooo!

Nightrider

One of the great things about having a bike is you can get around town after seven. Of course we have tuktuks, but they become lazier and more expensive every hour after six. And the songteaws (pick ups that ride around like buses) stop around six. But now I can ride around until the wee hours of the morning if I want to. At least I can go to the night markets or out for dinner without people giving us a ride.

The downside is that streetlights are rather dim here. And people drive around in cars and on bikes and bicycles without lights whatsoever. Then there's the usual stuff like people flinging doors open without looking, people driving on the wrong side of the road and so on. It gets interesting from time to time, but its very similar to riding a bicycle in Amsterdam. Just assume everybody driving is a drunk retard on the phone while changing a DVD that fell on the floor and you'll probably be alright.

Through the language barrier

Yay! We have our driver's licences! For car and motorbike! Khon Kaen be ware! Why do I need all these exclamation marks?! Anyway: now I can drive my bike legally and that means I'll be properly insured. I can also rent a car and stuff. (But I'm not gonna. Need some more practice). Although the exam went well. We paid to pass of course, but we would have passed anyway. All we had to do was put on our seat belt, turn right, stop, indicate our next right turn, drive past the parking space into a narrow street, stop, reverse without hitting anything, parallel park in the parking spot, reverse out and turn the corner, turn another right, ride up a little bridge, turn right and stop at the line. Easy.

Unfortunately that's not what happened the first time we tried it. This had a lot to do with the fact we were driving an extremely sensitive Nissan sedan as wide as a truck. And even more with the fact that we thought we understood what the instructor said, when in fact we didn't. Luckily a Thai colleague (and the owner of the extra wide Nissan) was there. She was gonna show us how it's done, got into her car and preceded to drive the Nissan ever so sensitively into a drain and got stuck.

After we got the car out, she showed us though and so we avoided all drains, curbs and traffic cones. In fact we were so good and paid so much money we didn't even have to show our motorcycle prowess anymore. Party time! Excellent (just like my helmet)!

So: where's the bike?

Yeah. There should be a picture of the bike here. Plus one of me with the obscenely big stormtrooper helmet. But it's raining cats and dogs and for all I know elephants today. A thundurous monsoon is watering some plants and blowing away some others. A picture of a guy in a helmet getting wet next to a motorcycle cover just isn't the same. So hang tight and hang loose. Pictures are coming. Hope they're not of the under water variety...

Stop

We have put a down payment on our motorcycle yesterday. Not because we don't have the money. Then why not take it home? Well,we needed more official pieces of paper of course. Although our work permits and passports clearly state who we are, where we live, where we work and what exactly that work is, we need an extra letter from the Immigration office certifying that they feel pretty certain we actually live and work where stated and that we've been a good boys and girls and sleep with our hands above the covers. This is Thailand.

Also Thailand: someone at the school knows someone who's someone at the Department of Motor Vehicles. That means we can apparently go over there with this person and meet this someone who will then issue both a motorcycle driving licence and a car driving licence. Provided that we pay 1000 baht a pop. And provided that we show up with the appropriate papers. Man, does that work permit see a lot of action! Mind you, we need the come out in full force with the 1 inch pictures and a health cert as well. I'll believe it when I'm holding the licences and I am not followed by cars with sirens and flashing lights or something:)

Time flies

Right off the bat: I'm not going to make up for lost time. I mean, I'd have to talk about our three week long come back tour (see picture) of Holland (lots of friends, haring, family and card board boxes), our collegue Tony who contracted this horrible infection, but is now more or less okay and has no more skin on his left leg because it is now all on his arm, and then there's the big news in Thailand about the Thai rak Thai party, the new kids in both our classrooms and the fact that we went out and ordered a motorcycle (with link to the Vietnamese website, because they have English).


Instead I'll just wish you a happy Visakabucha day (no work today, because we have to commemorates the birth, the enlightment and the death of Buddha ) which ties in nicely with all the questions I've been getting through email/msn about Buddhism. They range from 'Have you become a Buddhist now?' (no) to 'What is this Buddhism all about?' (now there's a question). I'll do my best to answer all these questions here, although I'm not sure I'm the best qualified person to do so. I've been meditating for years, but I've never called myself a Buddhist. I have studied Buddhism extensivley and still do as a part of living in this Buddhist country. And being in the Isaan region does give me an interesting perspective. Let's just start out by saying that Buddhism in Thailand is very diverse and, well frankly, a little strange from time to time. And I'd be lying if I said I'd figured it out already. But I'll try.

If you're not interested in Buddhism whatsoever (fair enough): just skip and ignore the 'Dharma if you do/Dharma if you don't'- header from now on :)

Viva la Visa!

Not only have we signed up for a new year at our school, we also got an early start at getting all the paperwork done. For everybody outside of Thailand: getting a new visa is not a going-to- the-right-window-and-taking-a-number-kind of affair. It requires skill and especially determination. Just so you won't think I'm biased. Here is a completely factual and full length play by play.

December
We start asking the school to make sure that this year all the paperwork is set in motion before the end of March. Several of us are going on trips abroad and if you leave the country without a new Non Immigrant B visa, you'll have to start the whole thing from scratch: tourist visa, leaving the country, applying for a Non-B and so on.

January
We check what we need to bring as well as we can. Information online and in real life is often vague or contradictory. Especially because we do not only need a new Non-B visa. We need a work permit extension and a re-entry permit (because we're going out of the country).

February
Nothing much happens. Except of course for teaching assistants preparing documents we sign.

March, week one
We start pushing for an as near as possible date to go to the immigration office and the labour department. We find out that the school has already booked the school van for the visa run for the last week of March (!). If even the slightest thing goes wrong, there will be no time to correct it.

March, week two
Not only have our prayers been heard, when we push for this Friday, the school says 'OK' (Yaaaaaaay). But then says: 'wait a minute' and makes it Monday (Awwwwwwww).

March, week three, Monday
We show our work permit at the office, evidently this year we do not have to have the visa first. Good. Not so good: There is no one available to sign for the use of the school van trip to Udonthani (1 hour), where there is an immigration office. Trip postponed to Tuesday. Tess reminds us all to bring pictures and no matter who we ask, no body is sure about the size.

March, week three, Tuesday
We all jump aboard the school van at seven AM. Because it is Tuesday, we have to go to the main office in Nong Kai (a three hour trip). Half way trough we are asked if be brought everything on a list. Miraculously Everybody has everything. Pictures in all sizes, passports, work permits and a unbelievable stack of forms per person (each page copied three times).

We arrive before the crowd even though we had to stop in the city to shop for a present to give to the immigration officer. He has a reputation of disliking farang (which is fair enough because he mostly sees the wrong kind). So a big box with the huge ribbon is bought to smooth things over. Legend has it that there is a big bottle of Thai whiskey in the box, but our questions about its content are met with silence and smiles by the Thai teachers.

We start filling in the forms give our passports and for a moment it looks bad. The officer is tearing pages out of stacks and saying that there is stuff missing. But suddenly (after muffled discussions with the head of our delegation) I have to hand in my forms. I'm not even done with the second one. But ten minutes later I'm holding my passport with all the right stamps.

Then it's time to pay up. Of course we asked if we should bring money. The answer was 'no'. But apparently the treasury department of the school refused to fork over the dough. We painstakingly gather just enough money by borrowing the odd thousand Bath from the Thai teachers. Then it turns out that we have to pay more for our re-entry permit. Twice the price stated on the form. When we point that out the officer simply says: 'That is the old form.'

After some shopping and making sure that the school is going to pay us the money back, we arrive back in Khon Kaen.

March, week three, Wednesday...
Hand in our work permit to get the stamps and signatures.

March, week four, ...Sunday
Write this all down on the blog. Still hoping my work permit will be back before I leave for Bangkok. I have to say that it's looking pretty good. Mind you: this is actually the smooth way of getting your paperwork done. If you do it without the help of a government school and let's say you don't speak any Thai at all... Good luck!

Exams, strike and some driving

I am not sure why, but Thai kids in primary one get exams (and tons of homework ). Being the one giving most of the exams (and yes, the homework), I now say that that's a good thing. It gets the students used to performing under a certain degree of stress. It gets them to review the material, it gets them to focus and: it gets them to cheat. That also is a good thing. Studies have long shown that kids learn faster when they cheat. Something about quickly storing the essential info and stuff. Of course I tell them they can't cheat. And that they lose points when I catch them. Some in fact do. Which is totally different from the Thai exams, because those are done in a cooperative manner. Answers are readily provided by the teacher if kids don't know. Not on my watch though. No stress means, no real cheating, and therefore no learning. Can you spot the cheaters in this picture? Not easy, is it?


By now all the exams are done, everybody passed (because in Thailand nobody can actually fail and the exams were pretty easy) and we're leisurely planning the new year. Gives you time to snap some quaint pictures. Like this one. Saw it laying there a million times, but never had a camera with me. It submit to the world a little piece of art I would like to entitle: Steeeeeeerike! It's a work of art that evokes memories of years gone by perhaps, or the essence of humanity cut down by the big black ball of Fate, an inner child in a world all grown up or ehm... Well, you figure it out!



Speaking of the big black ball of Fate: here's a shot of Tessel driving a car for the very first time. Don't worry, this is not the open road but the grounds of our neighbour's school (and more importantly, it's also his car). You gotta do something on Sunday. Why not try some driving on the left? It sure beats bowling!

Happy Valentine's day!

No posts for more than a month, I know I know. Busy with stuff and things. One of them is going to what's left of home, to clear it all out. Then there's teaching, end of term exams, getting used to the heat again because the summer's really started and...Valentines day. In Thailand (apart from the usual roses and bears and hearts and cards) you get stickered if someone likes you (or if they want you to look silly I'm not sure). This is a picture of those stickers (and my chins and beard and lower lip as it happens). Quite a sight. Quite quaint. Quite a lot of fun. They should just go ahead and do that everywhere!

2006: the round up

Now that they seem to have fixed all the cables, I can fill you in on everything that happened during the ho ho holidays. My appearance as Santa should at least be nominated for an Oscar. And the principal's interpretation of the Sundance Kid was no mean feat either. The crowd went wild. But that was probably due to the massive amounts of sugar eaten. And it wasn't over.

Christmas is of course followed by New Year and in Thailand that means: presents. Everybody buys something, all the presents are numbered and all the numbers go into a big hat. Guess who got to call the numbers? Guess who was a little scared of being eaten alive by a group of seven year olds if he didn't read the numbers fast enough? That's right. You guessed it. But luckily no teachers were hurt during the making of this production.

And luckily we had a party to look forward to. A teachers only party at a nightclub. I was expecting copious amounts of alcohol. I was expecting very spicy food. But nothing could have prepared me for Thai teachers dressing up as Snowhite, Rudolph The Rednosed reindeer and every other costume imaginable. Then there was the Isaan band with the charismatic male singer/jokester and the six scantly clad female singers. Quite a show. And if you can't beat them...

So we got on stage after getting Tessels saxophone. I climbed behind the drums and thinking that the band would surely know the H.M. Blues (a cool and famous jazzy tune composed by the King) I counted to four and played away, because that's jazz. The band was right there on the 'one' but then no one played the melody. No problem: so we're playing free jazz all of a sudden. Fine by me. Forget the theme. Straight into the solo's, Tess is there, but wait a minute: why are you guys not going to F? Blues has three chords guys. Three. Hello? Okay: so we're doing a long vamp in C now. Can't say that that has never happened before. Tess's going for it. The audience likes it. But the band is in a state of sheer panic. They bail when invited to solo. And when Tess's finally done exploring even the remotest corners of the chord of C and we go into a nice bombastic ending I can almost smell their relief.

Slice of life

Who needs pictures when you've got your own little sketch artist in the classroom (thanks again for the picture Tonhom). It's all there: the whiteboard, the math problem, the picture of the King, Buddha aad the flag, the vocab, the fans, the teaching assistant, the sleeping student and of course me.

Meanwhile on the other side of the world, my grandfather died. That stuff can't be sketched. Don't know exactly where you are, but see you around and take care now you hear?

Foodism

Sometimes you get lucky. Not in Thailand though. Luck has nothing to do with it. It's all about karma (cause and effect) and merit (which you get provided you don't enjoy killing mosquito's too much and give to the poor and generally do the right thing). I don't know what I've done right. But it must have really been something. Because somehow we just happen to work and live very close to the best chicken shop in the world. That's right: the best in the world. It's roasted by the roadside on a stick until absolutely perfect, with a slight but ever so delightful hint of asphalt. *wipes keyboard clean of saliva* To top it all off the chicken comes with a fine tamarind based dipping sauce adding a nice spicy twang. *wipes keyboard clean of saliva again*

Now I can hear you think: what about the poor chicken and the tamarind and stuff. Two possible answers: 1) They had it coming. 2) It will back fire completely and I'll probably be roasted to a crisp in a next life. Delicious...